The Golden familia has an announcement:
There is a Golden Baby on the way!
Ahh! It’s true, it’s true. I can’t even believe it but I am very knocked up indeed. My thoughts and emotions are all over the place so I’m not sure this post is going to make any sense!
It’s so crazy that I am expecting another baby when not too long ago I was completely against having another and I had basically crushed Alex’s dreams of possibly having a little girl.
I don’t know if I am more scared or excited but I like to think it’s healthy dose of both.
We decided in January that we were going to try for a third and I still tell him that I’m not exactly sure what kind of brujeria he conjured up to get me to change my mind. But, on March 2nd, I found myself staring at a positive pregnancy test!
It’s funny how this time around I really had to think about it. Back in January, Alex and I went out on a hike and were talking about how we felt about having another baby and I mentioned how I finally felt like an adult. I was 18 when I was pregnant with Ramses, so to say that was unplanned is an understatement, and when Romeo came along, certain road bumps did not have us expecting to expect so he was also a very big surprise, not to mention I was on birth control.
This pregnancy, I actually really thought about it and we discussed it. Even with 2 kids already, I felt that we needed to really consider what it entails to have a baby, raise a baby, and the responsibilities of it. It sounded, and still sounds, so ridiculous to say that because we’re not first time parents but those thoughts never really crossed our mind, at least not in as much depth as it has been recently.
You’d think that because I’ve done this twice before that I would feel like I’m going for a walk in the park but I’m freaking out, man. I keep thinking of the wondrous nausea, weight gain, and ever-flowing pee that is coming my way. I panic about starting over and having to once again carry everything but the kitchen sink every time I have to leave the house when Golden Baby arrives. And, I have that fear of a miscarriage again. I lost a baby in 2008 and that gut-wrenching feeling never really goes away. I can only leave it in God’s hands and trust that whatever He has in store for us is the right thing.
My entire family knows and our news was welcomed with so much love. My parents are super excited because they were certain I wasn’t going to have anymore kids and my mom has been asking for about 2 years when I was going to change my mind. And my boys, they’re ecstatic! They ask daily how much the baby has grown, if I can feel it moving, and have been giving suggestions for names (i.e. Jessica, caca, and chrysanthemum. None of those names will actually be considered lol) I have my own list of names but those won’t be revealed just yet.
I’m 2 months along and amazed at how much I’m already showing; fat or baby? twins? Oh my! I have a long journey ahead of me and already I’m dying of exhaustion. I am simply taking it day by day and praying that everything goes smoothly and that he grants me patience to deal with everyone and everything that is already irritating the crap out of me. Oh, hormones!
Golden Nugget is due to arrive mid-November, another Scorpio in the house. Good luck to Alex! Join me on my journey, if you will, and let’s see how this adventure plays out.