Pregnancy seems to be a time when people, be it strangers or family members, feel that they have the right to ask incredibly personal and rude questions. I’m sure everyone woman who has been pregnant know what I’m talking about, actually whether you’ve ever been pregnant or not, you’ve seen the memes and probably heard a mom-to-be complaining about it.
This is my third Golden Baby and you’d think that I’d be used to all the prying questions and irritating comments but not even close. Typically, I just smile and ignore the questions and comments, I certainly don’t lose any sleep over them but this time around they irritate me more than should. I never respond rudely simply because the offender, amazingly, doesn’t realize they are being rude. I’ll offer a quick response but in my head, oh I’m cursing left and right.
I’ve been pregnant now for 32 weeks (almost done, yay!) and I’ve made a list of some of the most annoying things I’ve been asked. I’ll even share with you the responses I bit my tongue strongly for to keep from slipping out.
- A girl! Are you happy you finally got your little girl? Your family must now feel complete.
- Truth be told, I wanted a boy. I AM happy either way but thank you for implying that my family was or would have been anything less than perfect with only boys.
- Aren’t you nervous? It’s been a while since you had a baby at home
- OF COURSE I’m nervous. Thanks for pointing that out and adding to my anxiety.
- 3 kids, that’s not going to be easy. Are you ready for that?
- Again, thanks for the added anxiety. I know my boys will be a great help but no, I’m not ready. Who the hell is? You take it as it comes along. I’ll figure it out.
- Are you full of stretch marks yet?
- Shall I just strip naked so you can see for yourself? But no, no I’m not actually. I have absolutely no stretch marks on my stomach and yet this is my third. How about you? Are YOU full of stretch marks?
- Are you getting your tubes tied after the baby is born?
- What is it with people and their
feardistaste of large families? I am getting them tied because I feel my family has been filled to the brim and blessed but what does it matter to you what happens to my reproductive organs?
- What is it with people and their
- You’re stopping at 3? You need at least one more.
- This is usually from the Hispanics, it’s the exact opposite of most others. Apparently I’m a wuss for stopping at 3. I would love to have 4 but realistically speaking, that would not be the best decision. I have my (very good) reasons for not continuing so stop pestering.
- Your belly is so small, aren’t you eating?
- My favorite one. No, I’m not eating, I’m starving myself to stay small. *major eye roll* Why is everyone so obsessed with how much you do or don’t gain. I’m a small person, I have small 6lb babies, get over it. I don’t care if you gained 65lbs during your pregnancy, I’m not judging you. Every one is different and carries and gains differently. Go. Away.
- You’re too young too be having a baby.
- I don’t know if this is supposed to be a compliment or insult. On the one hand, I’m glad I look much younger than my age, means I’ll age well, right? Right!? On the other hand, I’m 27, what’s it to you? If I had waited until I was 30, you’d be saying I’m too old. Again, go away and don’t worry about it.
- You’re third?! Someone’s been busy.
- If you mean busy having a lot of sex, always. Glad that you felt the comfort to comment on my sex life. If you mean busy just having kids, uhm, no not really. 3 kids in 10 years is hardly extraordinary.
- Are you finally going to breastfeed this one?
- Ah, the breast vs bottle debate. This one will never end, unfortunately. I didn’t breastfeed my boys because I hated it, absolutely hated it. Guess what, both my boys are incredibly healthy, smart, and were never delayed in their developments. And, I was a happier, less stressed mother for it. I’ll be pumping this time around for the sole purpose of saving money on formula but I won’t directly breastfeed because I don’t want to be tied down by the baby. I also want others to be able to help and enjoy feeding time with the baby. I fully support both methods of feeding. I’ll pick what’s best for me and you pick whatever the hell works best for you.
Phew, glad I was finally able to get that off my chest!
No matter how happy we are to be expecting a baby, pregnancy is usually filled with many, many fears and anxieties. It doesn’t matter if it’s the first or fifth child, doubts and concerns find a way of creeping in. The last thing we want to hear is unnecessary and prying questions and comments. Let the mom enjoy this time!